This weekend at Church, the story of doubting Thomas was read. During the reading, my son said, "It's pretty specific what he says is going to make him believe." 😇 I hushed him and chuckled to myself.
I kept thinking about that. Thomas had specific criteria that would make him believe.
Why didn't Thomas just tell them, "That sounds a little crazy guys. I'll believe it when I see it."
Thomas needed more than just the testimony of others, or a whisper in his heart. He needed not only to see but to touch and know.
Do I carry specific criteria for my faith or limits on what our faith can handle? Maybe I am more likely to set criteria my life or family must reach for me to have strong faith.
Recently, I had the privilege to hear Brother Guy Consolmagno speak. I spoke with him briefly afterwards; he said, "Faith calls you to live without fear, not to live in fear. Our faith is big enough to handle anything! If we fear what we might learn or hear, we aren't living with faith."
As a parent in today's world, we live with a constant bombardment of fear mongering and insecurity. It is easy to fall prey to the fears of this world instead of hushing the Thomas in our hearts. It is harder to exercise our faith and pray, than it is to doubt and fear. We are insecure in how we parent and the choices we make. We need to wrap our lives and families in a blanket of faith to protect us from the insecurities and doubts around us.
Thomas is eternally known as "Doubting Thomas" but maybe he was more "Fearful Thomas" or "Insecure Thomas". Afraid of what it would mean if it were true that Jesus is risen. Afraid that he missed his chance to see the risen Christ. Afraid that he wasn't chosen to carry on Christ's mission. Insecure of what his place was in the confusion of recent events. Insecure that if he believed with his whole heart he might bring suffering to his family or look like a fool.
Can you blame him?
I fear that I'm somehow messing up my children, fear that I'm not a good enough mom, wife, or homeschool teacher, and fear the unknown for our futures. But honestly, that's just insecurity and lack of faith. I will try instead to calm the insecurity with a warm and secure blanket of faith. I will quiet the winds of fear and listen to the whispers of faith of what I know is true.